


Shame

by elirwen



Series: Pornalot 2017 [6]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Established Relationship, M/M, Medical Kink, Porn, Roleplay, Sexual Roleplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2019-01-19 16:20:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12413655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elirwen/pseuds/elirwen
Summary: Merlin is ashamed of his sexual fantasies, scared to bring them up. Until Arthur makes the first step and reveals his own desires.





	Shame

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: the fic contains **fully consensual** rape play. (There is no rape idolization though.)
> 
> Written for the 4th week of pornalot 2017.

Wrists aching from being pressed into the mattress, breath leaves him in harsh puffs with each of Arthur’s thrusts. His mind brings out one of his fantasies, changes their surroundings, the whole situation. It switches Arthur’s heavy breaths for threats and slurs, the soft bed for cold ground. 

He tries to stop the thoughts, but they come back. They spur his arousal. Make him spill faster. He wants to beg Arthur for more but shame keeps his mouth shut. 

 

*

 

“I was thinking we could play a bit,” Arthur says, thumbing a long strip of soft fabric.

 

*

 

“Please, no,” Merlin mumbles, words escaping his fantasy, slipping into reality in the midst of intense pleasure. 

“What’s wrong?” Arthur asks, slipping out of Merlin and reaching for his bound wrists. 

“No, I…” Merlin’s already sex-flushed skin reddens even more. “I’m fine. Go on.” 

“Are you sure?” Arthur asks, wary. 

“Yeah,” Merlin says, hooking his leg around Arthur’s thigh, pulling him closer.

 

*

 

The girl on the screen struggles, tears sliding down her face as her attacker forces himself on her. It’s awful. Horrible to watch. And yet Merlin’s cock hardens in his jeans. 

The scene fades to black. To avoid suspicion, Merlin forces himself to sit through a few more minutes of the movie, his body tense, before he slinks to the bathroom. Cold water does nothing to ward off the shame coursing through his veins. 

 

*

 

“A bit of roleplay might be fun,” Arthur says in the middle of dinner, completely casual, as if it was their usual topic for Wednesday evening. 

“What do you mean?” Merlin asks, taking a sip of his wine.

“You know. Doctor’s appointment, horny repairman, master and slave. That sort of stuff,” Arthur says. “I’m sure we’d come up with a scenario that would turn us both on.”

It could be his chance to get what he craves, but shame bears down on him, blocking his throat.

 

*

 

Cum splattered all over his stomach, his hole fluttering around the toy in brief spasms of the fading aftershocks, Arthur is a sight to behold. 

“Your prostate seems to be in perfect working order, Mr. Pendragon,” Merlin continues his act. “It’s time for the flexibility test.”

He watches Arthur press into his touch, to shiver as Merlin drags his latex clad fingers over his body. He listens to Arthur’s moans.

“Yes, doctor. Harder, doctor. Please, doctor.” 

Arthur overcame his shame, laid himself bare, shared one of his deepest desires. It’s time Merlin did the same. 

 

*

 

“I want to try rape play,” Merlin says in lieu of greeting the next evening, not giving himself a chance to chicken out.

“Okay,” Arthur says, surprise evident on his face, and puts away his briefcase. “Dinner first?”

 

*

 

“So…” Arthur starts, breaking the slightly uncomfortable silence. 

“It’s…” Merlin glances up and averts his gaze again. “I know it’s weird. Maybe we shouldn’t do it.” 

Arthur takes his hand, caressing it soothingly. 

“It’s not weird,” Arthur says. “Unusual maybe, but not weird.” 

Merlin takes a deep breath, rubs a hand over his face.

“I don’t know why it turns me on,” Merlin says. “Rape is horrible. I would never want it to happen to me. But those fantasies always come when I’m trying to get myself off,” Merlin continues, shame colouring his cheeks once more. “Sometimes even while you fuck me.” 

“We’ll make it work,” Arthur says, smiling. “Just tell me what you’d like me to do.”

“I don’t want it to hurt,” Merlin starts. “Not the sex, at least. You can be rough a bit though. Also...”

 

*

 

“Stop struggling,” Arthur growls. “It won’t help you escape.”

He shoves Merlin to the ground, kneeling on his back and tying his wrists together and then to a pipe near the wall. 

“How should I take you? On your back? Or just like this?”

He trails his fingers over Merlin’s face, tracing his lips. Merlin goes for a bite, but Arthur snatches his fingers away just in time. “Front it is then.”

He doesn’t waste any time, drags the jeans halfway down Merlin’s legs and pulls him up to his knees.

“No, don’t, please” Merlin gasps, trying to move away, but Arthur’s grip on his hips is stronger. 

“Be nice and you might even enjoy it,” Arthur sneers, giving his own cock a few strokes before he presses its head to Merlin’s opening.

“You monster,” Merlin gasps, his safeword for everything is fine, and Arthur pushes in.

Merlin can’t stop the small noises escaping him with every Arthur’s thrust. Arthur is ruthless, not giving him any time to adjust, fucking him through the achy discomfort of not being stretched enough, the position allowing him to bury his cock up to the hilt in Merlin’s hole. 

“Please, stop,” Merlin pleads, making Arthur speed up his movements. 

“So tight,” Arthur moans. “Too tight.” 

He covers Merlin’s back with his body, snapping his hips in shorter, sharper thrusts.

“I’ll have to stretch you before I take you again. To make it last,” Arthur says, one hand wrapped around Merlin’s stomach, pulling them closer together. “I’ll use my whole hand. Or maybe something convenient you have lying around.”

“No,” Merlin moans, his cock dripping precum onto the floor.

“Baseball bat would be perfect,” Arthur adds, his breath hot on the side of Merlin’s neck.

“Oh my god,” Merlin gasps, slumping further forward. “Please,” he begs, this time for real, and somehow Arthur knows, wrapping his hand around Merlin’s cock. 

“You’d be nice and loose afterwards,” Arthur says, his breath hitching as he nears his own peak. “Locked up right here, waiting for me, always ready, always dripping my cum.” 

Merlin cries out, spilling over Arthur’s fingers. 

“Fuck,” Arthur gasps and comes, letting go of Merlin’s cock to brace himself on the floor, to stop himself from collapsing on top of him.

 

*

 

“Okay?” Arthur asks after he unties Merlin’s hands and spoons Merlin on the camping mat which was given the role of the hard ground.

“Perfect,” Merlin says, pulling Arthur’s arm around him and linking their fingers together.

The shame isn’t gone completely, but with Arthur’s help he’ll get there.

**Author's Note:**

> [My tumblr.](http://elirwen.tumblr.com)
> 
>  
> 
> Comments are ♥


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